When I asked “So, what’s next?”  I didn’t ask for this……………..

After starting to sort my head out and look to the future in a positive vein, yet another hammer blow was lurking!

After suffering a massive heart attack, followed by a stroke (as if the heart attack wasn’t enough!) my brother Alan had another stroke which sadly finished what the first two events had started – the damage was too great and he was left with, realistically, no chance of recovery!  This was the one fight he couldn’t win!  But fight he did, to the last second!

He was a good man!  Another one who will be sorely missed by many people, taken far too soon!  Very level headed and nothing “ruffled his feathers”, he took everything in his stride, generally with the attitude “why worry?”  He would have been the last person I’d have said would go this way.  He didn’t do stress or, for that matter, ever trouble his GP – I don’t ever remember him being ill.  But who knows what’s around the next corner?  My Dad at 59, now my brother at 57 (not to mention Nina at 40 and Tony at 42) – yes, this has terrified me!

I can’t do anything else but carry on with the positive attitude because after the blows this year has dealt me personally anything less would have dire consequences.  I’m not alone, I already know that, but the major changes are now down to me – that voice inside is screaming “get off your arse lard boy!!!”  So that’s what “lard boy” is going to do, and we’ll see what happens?

The Coast to Coast walk is a certainty for next September (should have shifted the timber by then?) and possibly a good holiday by the end of next year?  No point waiting for the sun in this country and besides, the ginger blokes tan hasn’t been topped up this year – my arms and face haven’t been burnt purple once – it just won’t do!

I just feel numb right now, experience doesn’t stop that feeling, but I do have good recent experience to draw on and great friends and family so I know I’ll get through it and I can help my family to get through it too.  I made a comment in my last “effort” stating that a procedure carried out on Alan in Blackburn A & E was in the wrong place on two counts – well, what do I know, I’m not a doctor – I was wrong and I apologise unreservedly, my only excuse is it’s too easy to find and throw blame in those situations, but that doesn’t make it right.

So, here we go again, start again – onwards and upwards!

No more shocks please, I’ve had enough to last a lifetime………………………..